Nellie - one of the Aunties

‘doing a Nellie’ is a family expression meaning making extra washing up by transferring leftovers into smaller clean bowls.

There’s a kind of symmetry in my mum’s family, the 11 children came at 2 year intervals and for the 5 youngest there was always a same sex sibling 12 years older to look out for you and be a role model. In the end, they took care of each other for life. 2 pairs of sisters ended up living in the same estate.

When mam was working and tried having a cleaner it was a disaster. Nellie immediately stepped in and took over. Her main job was cleaning labs at the university. She had been a seamstress and machinist previously and did a lot of sewing and alterations. She made my wedding dress too. I was married in November so she made a lining out of a winceyette sheet to keep me warm. When I went to live in Halls she made me a proggy mat for my room, and she introduced me to Jumble sales. She also won things at the bingo quite often. Mum used to worry about her coming home on the bus with £100 prize money in her bag.

Nellie always had a pot of tea keeping warm on a low gas and when I got the number 47 bus home I’d drop in for a cup on the way. She was allergic to yeast but it didn’t stop her from brewing beer and making wine. Her orange wine could blow your head off nee bother. She had an allotment where she grew all kinds of fruit and veg, and she taught me lots about gardening (sweetcorn has to be planted in rectangles for pollination, save tea dregs for the houseplants…). She never forgot raspberries were my favourite and I always got fresh ones and jam from her.

She was proud of her legs, and wore fine stockings and smart shoes to set them off. She was a dancer too. She didn’t seem to have either the Scott family thighs or Bott.
Nellie married late. Auntie Mary once told us about Old Annie (my granma) muttering on at the bus stop about how our Nellie was daft at her age to get involved with a man. She didn’t need to get married to him did she? We reckoned it was amazing – 45 years old.

Nellie was 12 years older than mam, but her son was 4 years younger than my little brother. She had to go to hospital when he was a toddler so he came to stay with us. We remember potty training him with smarties in eggcups as incentives
“I want smarties for doin’ a poo in an eggcup” kept us amused anyway.

Every week, Nellie and her mother in law went shopping in Newcastle with other relatives. They’d meet up at her house for a cup of tea before they set out. One week they were just about to leave when the old lady said:
“I’ll just sit down, I’m going to die now” and she did.

When Nellie was 61 she divorced her husband. I think it had to do with suddenly you’re both retired and realise that from then on you’re together. For her it wasn’t a tempting prospect. He’d worked a long way away for years and she was so busy with the jobs, the allotment and the bingo. What I remember of him is he: drank her home brew a lot: always asked me if I was courting; and worked on installing the copper roof of the civic centre in Newcastle.

What I learnt from knowing Nellie is we can do it, whatever it is - just find a way and get on with it.